ripple effect: vacaville

Read 1 Kings 1:5-27.

[Stuff we're skipping over:

* When David finds out that Absalom is dead, he mourns. Joab told David that he needed to quit mourning and congratulate his troops, otherwise there would be more rebellion. Then, the people of Judah, who followed Absalom, are convinced to join David's side again after David replaces Joab with Amasa (his nephew).

* David returned to Jerusalem; and, along the way, he was praised and assisted by Shimei and Ziba. David actually ended up forgiving Shimei for cursing at him previously.

* David then finds out that Mephibosheth was tricked by Ziba into not going with David. The two make up.

* A rich old guy named Barzillai, who had been taking care of David when he was away, helped David across the Jordan. David offered to let Barzillai stay at the palace, but he let his son Kimham go instead. Also, an argument ensued between the people of Judah and the rest of Israel because they got to help David more. Weird.

* Some guy named Sheba got all the Israelites to desert David and follow him. The Judahites still escorted David home. When he got there, he had his ten concubines placed in seclusion because it would have been weird to sleep with them again.

* David sent Amasa, Joab's replacement, to go and mobilize an army to take on Sheba. In the meantime, Joab murdered Amasa. Then Joab captured Sheba after some lady had his head cut off and throw over a wall.

* There was a famine in Israel, and it turned out that it was caused by the fact that Saul had tried to destroy the Gibeonites. David went to the Gibeonites, and they said that they needed to kill seven of Saul's heirs as restitution. They didn't kill Mephibosheth, but they did kill seven of Saul's descendents.

* In a fight with the Philistines, another giant, Ishbi-benob almost killed David. But Abiathar got in the middle and killed him. From that point on, David's fighting days were over. But, David's warriors killed four Philistine giants.

* David sings a song of praise and gives a last speech. We also get descriptions of David's mighty warriors.

* David performed a census, and God got angry. Through the prophet, Gad, David learned that God was going to send a severe plague on Israel. God ends up stopping the "death angel" from destroying Jerusalem. David ended up purchasing the land on which God stopped the angel, and he erected an altar there.

* In the beginning of 1 Kings, we find out that David is so old that he shivers when it's time to go to bed. So, they found a beautiful girl named Abishag to lie with the king to keep him warm. They didn't have sex.]

Whew…

1. David’s son, Adonijah tries to take the throne. Geez. Can’t they wait until he dies?
2. Check out who turns their backs on David:
-Joab…yeah, I saw that coming
-Abiathar (the priest)…hmm, I wonder why he did?
3. Check out who stays loyal to David:
-Zadok…well, at least he kept one priest
-Benaiah…his bodyguard
-Nathan…the old-school prophet
-Shimei…the cusser!?!
4. Nathan’s got David’s back. He goes to Bathsheba and arranges for Solomon to become the new king. Smooth.
5. It’s cool to see Bathsheba doing something good. She usually gets a pretty bad rap.

So…I wonder how all this is going to shake down.

Read 2 Samuel 18:1-18.

[Stuff we're skipping:

* So...Ziba, the servant of Mephibosheth (Saul's grandson) basically accuses Mephibosheth of treason...aka...since Absalom's "taking the power back," Mephibosheth will profit from David's loss. David believes Ziba and rewards him.

* OK...another random story. Shimei, a relative of Saul, cursed and threw stones at David while they were passing through. Abishai threatens to cut the dude's head off, but David says to leave it in God's hands. So...Shimei follows them along and curses and throws more stones.

* Hushai arrives in Jerusalem and joins Absalom's "court." Ahithophel advises Absalom to sleep with David's ten concubines that he left behind to take care of the palace...in full view of the inhabitants of Jerusalem! {consequences of sleeping with Bathsheba #3!}

*Ahithophel encourages Absalom to pursue David then and there, while he is tired--an ambush. Hushai counters this advice by saying that they'd lose if they pursued then. Instead, they should assemble a huge army with Absalom leading the charge. Because God was with Hushai, Absalom followed his advice (sparing David and his men).

* Hushai sent word through the sons of Abiathar and Zadok to David to run because Absalom was planning an attack. In the meantime, Ahithophel hung himself because he realized that he was no good as an advisor anymore. At the end of this chapter, both sides are rested, assembled, and ready for emminent war.]

1. David is a macho guy; he wanted to go out with his troops. But, in this case, that would have been stupid. All Absalom’s army wanted was to kill David. So…he gave leadership to Abishai, Joab, and Ittai.
2. What do you think about David’s request for his “generals” to deal gently with Absalom?
3. Interesting that more people died because of the forest than the sword. What do you think that meant?
4. In quite possibly one of the most humorous scenes in the Bible, Absalom gets his afro stuck in a tree while his donkey runs off without him, leaving him dangling by his hair. Sweet.
5. Joab wants a piece of Absalom. The guy from David’s men knew not to mess with him, but Joab plunged three daggers into Absalom’s heart. Talk about being thorough!
6. Then they shucked the body into a hole and covered him with stones.
7. Ironically, the Bible then flashes back to tell you that, in Absalom’s life, he made a monument for himself out of stone. Oh well…now he has two?

Read 2 Samuel 15:1-37.

Time to shake the cobwebs off…

[Stuff we're skipping:

* OK, so Joab hires a woman to tell make up a lie about how she had two sons who were in similar circumstances to David's sons (Amnon and Absalom), and she asked if the "killer" son could be brought back to Jerusalem with no retribution. David agreed. Then she told him that she asked why he would do that for her but not for his own son, Absalom. David saw through who hired her; and, when Joab was summoned, he told him that Absalom could return to Jerusalem; but he would just not see him.

* We are told that Absalom is super-handsome with super-long hair. He also goes two years without seeing his dad. So, he sends for Joab. Joab doesn't come. So (talk about a cry for help) Absalom has his servants light Joab's fields on fire. Joab came. Joab went to David. David agreed to see him. Father and son were reunited.]

Unfortunately, this story doesn’t end well…

1. Sounds like America. Absalom wins the hearts of the people by complaining about issues that David, the king, isn’t in control of. Hooray for politics. Is there something better that we can do besides complaining about politicians?
2. In faux humility, Absalom doesn’t let the people bow to him. Instead, he embraces them. Sounds like he’s trying to get elected, doesn’t it?
3. Absalom is a sneaky punk. He lies to his dad and ends up lining things up so that he can overtake his dad as king. Why do you think Absalom is doing this?
4. Absalom gets stronger by wooing one of David’s best advisors, Ahithophel, to the dark side.
5. Man, Absalom must have had a powerful following because David’s runs…fast.
6. Ittai, the captain of the Gittites sticks with David. Maybe it’s because he knows David is the right horse to bet on?
7. Notice how sad everyone was to see David fleeing. He had been a good king, and the people must have loved him.
8. David instructs Abiathar to take the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. He didn’t want to selfishly keep it for himself. You’ve got to respect that. Abiathar and Zadok will serve as priests (and his spies).
9. Interesting prayer from David, “Let Ahithophel give Absalom foolish advice.”
10. Then David sends Hushai to be his mole/fake advisor to Absalom. Sweet. This ought to be interesting.

Read 2 Samuel 13:20-39.

1. Do you think Absalom meant what he said to Tamar about “not taking it to heart,” or do you think he was just trying to console her?
2. It’s interesting that it says that David was angry, but it doesn’t really say that he did anything about it. Why don’t you think he did anything?
3. Absalom’s silence would make me a little nervous if I were Amnon.
4. What’s the deal with David? Why didn’t he go to Absalom’s sheep-sheering party?
5. So…Absalom gets all the sons to come to his party, but his plans are to have Amnon killed when he’s drunk. Can you imagine how long Absalom’s been thinking about this revenge?
6. Is Jonadab supposed to be making David feel better? “Oh, king, only Amnon is dead.” Even more, wasn’t it Jonadab who helped Amnon rape Tamar? Now he’s helping David make decisions? Weird.
7. Is it only me who is a little confused about everyone being so sad at Amnon getting killed?
8. So, Absalom goes to live in Geshur, away from David. But it says that David’s heart goes out for him… It seems like he’s happy that Absalom did something about Amnon, doesn’t it? Then again, a son killing another son is pretty unacceptable.

Anyway, if you’re keeping track of the consequences of David and Bathsheba “getting together,” we’ve already hit two: 1) dead son 2) the sword has definitely made its way into David’s house.

Read 2 Samuel 13:1-19.

[Stuff we're skipping:

* Joab beats Rabbah, the leader of the Ammonites in a battle, taking his crown and giving it to David. Joab's army beat down all of the Ammonite armies.]

The story is one of the most disturbing in the Bible…

1. OK…so David had sons and daughters from different moms. So Absolom and Tamar were from the same mom, and Amnon was from a different mom. Amnon had the hots for Tamar, who was his half-sister. I personally have never had a half-sister who was beautiful; but I’d like to think that, if I did, I would be able to resist lusting after her.
2. So…Amnon has a cousin named Jonadab who is an idiot and actually tells Amnon how to rape his sister. Geez.
3. Hindsight is 20/20, but I would have thought this was a strange request from Amnon. If I was David, I think I might have snuffed that out. Maybe not. Then, when Amnon clears out the room so that it’s just the two of them, I would have thought that was a bit strange. I wonder what their relationship had been like before this. Maybe Tamar had some reasons to trust Amnon.
4. Tamar tried to reason with Amnon. She would be full of shame. He would be a fool. Maybe if they talked to David he could marry her? I don’t know if she really meant that. Maybe she just wanted to get near her dad, where it would be safe. I can’t imagine how helpless she felt at this time.
5. Amnon raped Tamar, and then he hated her. Hmm. You know, I’ve tried to figure this out. I don’t know what he was thinking. I guess the apple that he thought would be so great turned out to have worms in it. It’s just sad because it seems that he only wanted her because he couldn’t have her. Once he did, she was nothing to him. He kicked her out.
6. What do you think Tamar meant when she said that him kicking her out was worse than raping her?

Read 2 Samuel 12:1-25.

1. God sends Nathan to David. Sometimes He sends the exact right person for a time.
2. Based on the story, if Uriah loved Bathsheba even a fraction of how much the man loved his little lamb, David did a really bad thing.
3. Yeah…and, like the guy in the story, David really has plenty of “lambs.” He’s got at least six wives that we’ve counted. Bathsheba was all that Uriah had. Isn’t it just like human nature to want more even when you have enough?
4. David’s anger betrays him. In the theoretical world of imaginary lambs, David is ticked. But is can he really punish himself four times over for all the wrong he’s done to Uriah and Bathsheba?
5. Yeah…I was going to talk about this yesterday, but does this seem AT ALL like the David we have known in the last couple of chapters? This is the guy who killed Goliath, loved Jonathan like a brother, and showed total respect to God and Saul? Man. To take a line from David’s song about Saul and Jonathan, “how the mighty have fallen!”
6. Pay attention to the consequences of David’s sins: a) the sword will never leave his house (you’ll see this in the near future) b) someone will have sex with HIS women in front of everyone in the near future and c) the kid will die.
7. Notice that David admits his sin. Notice that Nathan says He “put [it] away.” But there are still consequences that God seems to take personally.
8. David’s child got sick, and it seems as if he tried everything to undo God’s judgment. It didn’t work. Once the child was dead, though, he realized that God did what God said He was going to do; so he went on with his life. It says he worshiped God. I wonder what that looked like?
9. David ended up having another kid, Solomon, with Bathsheba. This guy will be important…

Any thoughts about…

The bravery of Nathan?
David’s reaction to someone else’s sin?
David’s reaction to his own sin?
God’s reaction to David’s sin?

Read 2 Samuel 11:1-27.

[Stuff we're skipping:

* The king of Ammonites died; and his son, Hanun, took over. David sent messengers to console Hanun, but he disrespected the messengers. Then Hanun bought hired mercinaries to fight against Joab, Abishai, and the forces of Israel. Basically, David also got into the battle and beat up on the Ammonites.]

Alriiiiiighty then…

1. First off, it says that it’s time for kings to go to battle. Why wasn’t David going to battle? Why did he send Joab and the boys?
2. OK…so…um…it sounds like David was really relaxing. Chilling on the couch. Walking on the roof. This is all while his soldiers are off fighting. What do you think about that?
3. Speaking of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, now David checking out some fine woman named Bathsheba (ironically) taking a bath.
4. It should have ended there. He should have said “woops” and got off the roof. But instead he INQUIRES about her. Hmm… Guys, sometimes we can’t help seeing or hearing something objectionable. But when we “look into” it, that’s where the problem begins. I understand that she’s probably REALLY good looking, but David should have just left it at that.
5. So, David is told that she is Uriah’s wife. Now, to us that’s kind of random. But, later on in the Bible, we find out that Uriah was a member of David’s “mighty men.” He KNEW Uriah. Cold.
6. Well, he calls for her and has sex with her. I guess, technically, he’s the king–he can do whatever he wants. But this is wrong! Turns out, the reason she was bathing was a religious observance. Man…doesn’t that make it even worse?
7. We don’t know much about what Bathsheba was feeling during all of this. Any ideas?
8. Of course she gets pregnant. Do you think God allows that to happen to that the truth has to come out?
9. So David schemes, using Joab to get Uriah to him. Uriah was supposed to go home and have sex with Bathsheba, so that it would look like the baby was his. Problem was, Uriah was loyal to his men. He just didn’t feel like a “honeymoon” was a good idea when the guys are fighting. I don’t know if I would be that loyal…
10. So…David schemes further, trying to get Uriah drunk so that he will get with his wife. But, nooooo…Uriah is loyal.
11. Then David’s schemes just get plain obvious and mean. He sends Joab with a note that says to stick Uriah up and the front of the battle and take support away from him. Uriah, and other Israelites, die that day. All because David wanted something that he just couldn’t (shouldn’t?) have.
12. What’s sad is that Joab knows EXACTLY what this is all about. He tells the messenger that if David freaks out about the severe losses, to tell him that Uriah is dead. Joab knows. It kind of makes you wonder who else knows what David is up to.
13. Then Bathsheba finds out. She mourns. How do you think she feels? Do you think she knows that David was “behind” her husband’s death?
14. Either way, David scoops her up; and the son is born. But God is not happy.

What do you think about…

David?
Bathsheba?
Uriah?
Joab?

Read 2 Samuel 9:1-13.

[Stuff we're skipping:

* David took more wives and concubines in Jerusalem and had more sons and daughters: Shammua, Shobab, Nathan, Solomon, Ibhar, Elishua, Nepheg, Japhia, Elishama, Eliada and Eliphelet.

* David defeats the Philistines twice.

* David also brought the ark to Jerusalem from Abinadab's house. Ahibadab's sons, Uzzah and Ahio guided the ark on a cart, while David and all of Israel sang and played instruments alongside. The oxen dragging the ark stumbled, and Uzzah reached out to steady the ark...and God killed Uzzah right there for an irreverant act. Then David got mad and scared at God, so he placed the ark in the house of a guy named Obed-Edom. Since the ark's presence blessed his household, David brought the ark to Jerusalem. This time they carried it properly (on poles...not a cart) and offered sacrifices every six steps. David even wore a linen ephod, which is a priestly garment. Meanwhile, David's wife, Michal was looking out the window and thought that it was "below" a king to be dancing like a common priest. David offered sacrifices and gave free food to the people. When David got home, Michal gave him a hard time; and David said that he would "become even more undignified than this" in front of God. Right after that it says that Michal had no kids till she died. Was it because God struck her barren or David wouldn't sleep with her?

* David wants to build a temple for God, but Nathan (his prophet) is told by God that it will not be David's task to build the temple--it will be his son's. God also promises David that He will never take his love away from David's household, and He will be with his descendents. David offers up a prayer of thanks to God.

* David goes on to defeat the Philistines, the Moabites, the Zobahites, the Edomites, and the Arameans. He also got a ton of booty (treasures) and tributes from kings who were afraid of him. He dedicated all his winnings to the Lord.

* We also get a look at David's officials: Joab (commander), Jehoshaphat (recorder), Zadok and Ahimelech (priests), Seraiah (secretary), Benaiah (supervisor), and his sons were royal advisors. David was getting organized!]

1. After all David has been through with Saul, trying to avoid death and live up to his anointing, he still remembers the promise he made to be kind to Jonathan’s family. What kind of man does that make David?
2. It’s sad that almost all of Saul’s family is dead. Then again, wasn’t that the consequence of all the wrong things Saul did in his life?
3. OK, so Ziba says there is one family member left– Mephibosheth, the cripple. Can you imagine how scared Mephibosheth would be to meet with David? Tradition would be to kill all the heirs of your enemy.
4. The mighty king David bows to Jonathan’s crippled son. Not only that, he gives him his inheritance. All the land of his dad and the priviledge to have a place at the king’s table.
5. Mephibosheth receives “God’s kindness” through David. And I love his response. Because the truth is that my response is the same when I stand before a holy God–”What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?”
6. David then has Ziba’s family work for Mephibosheth so that he doesn’t just exist, but he actually has a life. So, he lived as a son of David. How cool is that?

Read 2 Samuel 5:1-12.

[We're going to do some serious skipping...so...

* David's about to go to battle with the Philistines and King Achish, but the commanders tell him to go away. Achish had to send David home. So...we don't know if he would have fought.

* When David returned to Ziklag, he saw that the Amalekites had raided the town and stolen all the women and children (including David's wives, Ahinoam and Abigail). David asked God (through Abiathar, the priest) whether or not they could beat the Amalekites. God said they could; and, on the way to find them, David met an Egyptian servant of the Amalekites who promised to lead them to the bad guys. He did, and they beat them down and got everything back.

* The Philistines beat down the Israelites, killing Saul's sons: Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malchi-shua. Saul was struck by an arrow, and he begged his armor bearer to go ahead and kill him. He wouldn't, so Saul had to kill himself. Then the armor-bearer killed himself. So...Saul's whole unit got killed that day. Then the Philistines cut of Saul's head and fastened his body to a wall in Bethshan. The men of Jabesh-gilead rescues Saul and his sons' bodies and gave them a proper burial.

* 2 Samuel starts with David hearing of Jonathan and Saul's death from some random guy. This guy lies and says that he killed Saul (thinking that David would like that). Instead, David mourns and has the guy killed for daring to lift his hand agains the Lord's anointed.

* David sings a lament that includes the famous words, "how the mighty have fallen."

* David then goes and becomes king of the tribe of Judah. He also commends the men of Jabesh-gilead for honoring Saul.

* Abner, Saul's commander, made one of Saul's other sons, Ish-bosheth, the king of Israel. He was the king for two years.

* Abner and Ish-bosheth's men fought Joab (David's commander...brother to Abishai) and David's men. David's guys won. Joab had another brother, Asahel, who was a fast guy. He followed Abner's chariot on foot, and Abner ended up stabbing Asahel through with the butt end of his spear. Joab and Abishai hunted down Abner, but they ended up calling it off after Abner makes a speech about not killing fellow Israelites.

* Ish-bosheth's army got weaker and weaker, and David's army got stronger and stronger. We learn that David had sons through his many wives. Turns out David has a couple more than two wives. Here's the breakdown: son #1 Amnon (mom is Ahinoam); son #2 Chileab (mom is Abigail); son #3 Absalom (mom is Maacah?); son #4 Adonijah (mom is Haggith?); son #5 Shephatiah (mom is Abital?); and son #6 Ithream (mom is Eglah?). Wow...six sons from six mamas!

* So...Ish-bosheth accuses Abner of sleeping with one of his father's concubines (big insult). Abner says the accusation is insulting and tells him that he's going to go help David become king from now on! Abner sends a message to David, and David says that the only way he can join the good side is by bringing him Michal (Saul's daughter). Ish-bosheth ends up allowing this, and poor Palti (her husband) cries the whole way as Michal leaves for David. Abner tells him to go home, so he does.

* Abner rallies all the leaders of Israel to David's side. Joab catches wind of Abner helping David and refuses to trust Abner. Then Joab calls Abner for a "private meeting" and murders him. When David finds out about this, he places a curse on the house of Joab. David wins over the people by the way that he mourns for Abner. They realize that he didn't assassinate him-- Joab did.

* We are informed that Jonathan had a son named Mephibosheth (who was crippled in the feet). He'll come into play later.

* Two of Ish-bosheth's captains, Rechab and Baanah, ended up murdering him. They brought his head to David, thinking he would be happy. Instead, David kills the two men because he considered Ish-bosheth "innocent." David buried Ish-bosheth's head with Abner's body.

Wow...sounds like a soap opera.]

1. David finally becomes kind. Don’t you think the people would be happier to follow him?
2. The Jebusites (who were living in Jerusalem) talked smack to David because they didn’t think his army could get in the city. They went in though the sewers, and cleaned house. Then Israel became known as “the city of David.” It still is. The promised land is looking like it’s finally taking shape.
3. Hiram of Tyre sent lumber to build David’s home. Sweet. It says that David knew that he was blessed because of God.

So…we obviously have some unresolved issues…

1. What’s going to happen to Joab and Abishai?
2. What’s going to happen to Jonathan’s crippled son, the heir to Saul’s throne?
3. Are all the people going to buy in to David’s leadership?

Stay tuned…

Read 1 Samuel 28:1-25.

[Things we're breezing past...

* David also got another wife named Ahinoam. As far as Michal (Saul's daughter) went, Saul actually gave her away to some guy named Palti.

* The Ziphites tipped off Saul again where David was. So Saul went with his army to track him down. He fell asleep surrounded by his soldiers, including his commander, Abner. David snuck into the camp with a guy named Abishai and got close enough to kill Saul. Of course, David wouldn't do it; but he instead took his spear and water bottle. David goes a distance from the camp and shouts out to Abner, telling him that he deserves to die for not keeping a good watch on the king. He tells him to check out Saul's spear and water bottle. What, oh...he must have snatched them! Saul heard David's voice and cried out to him. David again asked why Saul was chasing him, and Saul replied that David was a good man for not killing him. Then he went home, again. Deja vu.

* David decided that Saul would leave him alone if he lived with the Philistines, in Achash's palace. He did, and Saul did. Achish actually gave David a town to live in named Ziklag. He lived there for 16 months. David smartly raided the former inhabitants of the promised land to a) fulfill what God had called him to do in the first place and b) make it look like (to Achish) that David was a traitor to the Israelites (he wasn't killing Israelites, though!)]

Ever wonder where George Lucas got the name for the planets where the Ewoks lived? Maybe it was from this story…

1. Achish wanted David to fight with him against the Israelites. He says ok, but do you really think he’s going to fight against his countrymen?
2. Samuel has died. Then again, it’s not like he would have helped Saul in the first place. Also, Saul had kicked out all of the mediums and necromancers (people who communicate with the dead); but he needed to talk to someone because God wasn’t talking to him. So…genius comes up with the idea to go to a medium (witch?) in Endor. This Saul isn’t really that bright…
3. Saul actually has to go in a disguise to this “spiritist.” She balks at summoning a spirit because it was outlawed, ironically by Saul.
4. When Saul tells her to summon Samuel, instantly she freaks out and realizes that this guy was no other than the king himself. OK…first question, do you think (apart from God) that it is possible to communicate with the dead?
5. Saul bows to the spiritist in reverence to Samuel? What an idiot.
6. Samuel says that if God is against him, how can he be for him. That’s kind of a spin on “If God is for me, who can be against me?”
7. Samuel tells Saul like it is…”You’re going to lose. Remember when you didn’t kill those sheep or the king of the Amalekites? You know you do. You’re going to lose! Oh, and ‘p.s.,’ you and your sins are going to die tomorrow at the hand of the Philitines!” Wow. Saul going to this witch is going to literally be “the nail in the coffin.”
8. So Saul almost passes out because of the news and because he had not eaten. The woman urges him to eat, and he finally does. I guess this is the first “last supper.”

Hey, to me this chapter opens up a pandora’s box of questions about spiritists and mediums. People ask me all the time, “Do you believe in ghosts?” And this story actually has the “ghost” of Samuel talking to Saul through a woman. So…the basis of my beliefs is the Bible, and I have to at least admit that there might be some credibility in it. But, also notice the fact that Saul is punished mightily for seeking to talk to a dead person. What do you think?