Filed under: 1 kings, 2 samuel, abishag, absalom, adonijah, amasa, barzillai, bathsheba, david, gad, god, ishbi-benob, joab, kimham, mephibosheth, nathan, sheba, shimei, solomon, zadok, ziba
Read 1 Kings 1:5-27.
[Stuff we’re skipping over:
* When David finds out that Absalom is dead, he mourns. Joab told David that he needed to quit mourning and congratulate his troops, otherwise there would be more rebellion. Then, the people of Judah, who followed Absalom, are convinced to join David’s side again after David replaces Joab with Amasa (his nephew).
* David returned to Jerusalem; and, along the way, he was praised and assisted by Shimei and Ziba. David actually ended up forgiving Shimei for cursing at him previously.
* David then finds out that Mephibosheth was tricked by Ziba into not going with David. The two make up.
* A rich old guy named Barzillai, who had been taking care of David when he was away, helped David across the Jordan. David offered to let Barzillai stay at the palace, but he let his son Kimham go instead. Also, an argument ensued between the people of Judah and the rest of Israel because they got to help David more. Weird.
* Some guy named Sheba got all the Israelites to desert David and follow him. The Judahites still escorted David home. When he got there, he had his ten concubines placed in seclusion because it would have been weird to sleep with them again.
* David sent Amasa, Joab’s replacement, to go and mobilize an army to take on Sheba. In the meantime, Joab murdered Amasa. Then Joab captured Sheba after some lady had his head cut off and throw over a wall.
* There was a famine in Israel, and it turned out that it was caused by the fact that Saul had tried to destroy the Gibeonites. David went to the Gibeonites, and they said that they needed to kill seven of Saul’s heirs as restitution. They didn’t kill Mephibosheth, but they did kill seven of Saul’s descendents.
* In a fight with the Philistines, another giant, Ishbi-benob almost killed David. But Abiathar got in the middle and killed him. From that point on, David’s fighting days were over. But, David’s warriors killed four Philistine giants.
* David sings a song of praise and gives a last speech. We also get descriptions of David’s mighty warriors.
* David performed a census, and God got angry. Through the prophet, Gad, David learned that God was going to send a severe plague on Israel. God ends up stopping the “death angel” from destroying Jerusalem. David ended up purchasing the land on which God stopped the angel, and he erected an altar there.
* In the beginning of 1 Kings, we find out that David is so old that he shivers when it’s time to go to bed. So, they found a beautiful girl named Abishag to lie with the king to keep him warm. They didn’t have sex.]
Whew…
1. David’s son, Adonijah tries to take the throne. Geez. Can’t they wait until he dies?
2. Check out who turns their backs on David:
-Joab…yeah, I saw that coming
-Abiathar (the priest)…hmm, I wonder why he did?
3. Check out who stays loyal to David:
-Zadok…well, at least he kept one priest
-Benaiah…his bodyguard
-Nathan…the old-school prophet
-Shimei…the cusser!?!
4. Nathan’s got David’s back. He goes to Bathsheba and arranges for Solomon to become the new king. Smooth.
5. It’s cool to see Bathsheba doing something good. She usually gets a pretty bad rap.
So…I wonder how all this is going to shake down.
Filed under: 2 samuel, abiathar, abishai, absalom, bathsheba, david, god, hushai, ittai, joab, mephibosheth, shimei, zadok, ziba
[Stuff we’re skipping:
* So…Ziba, the servant of Mephibosheth (Saul’s grandson) basically accuses Mephibosheth of treason…aka…since Absalom’s “taking the power back,” Mephibosheth will profit from David’s loss. David believes Ziba and rewards him.
* OK…another random story. Shimei, a relative of Saul, cursed and threw stones at David while they were passing through. Abishai threatens to cut the dude’s head off, but David says to leave it in God’s hands. So…Shimei follows them along and curses and throws more stones.
* Hushai arrives in Jerusalem and joins Absalom’s “court.” Ahithophel advises Absalom to sleep with David’s ten concubines that he left behind to take care of the palace…in full view of the inhabitants of Jerusalem! {consequences of sleeping with Bathsheba #3!}
*Ahithophel encourages Absalom to pursue David then and there, while he is tired–an ambush. Hushai counters this advice by saying that they’d lose if they pursued then. Instead, they should assemble a huge army with Absalom leading the charge. Because God was with Hushai, Absalom followed his advice (sparing David and his men).
* Hushai sent word through the sons of Abiathar and Zadok to David to run because Absalom was planning an attack. In the meantime, Ahithophel hung himself because he realized that he was no good as an advisor anymore. At the end of this chapter, both sides are rested, assembled, and ready for emminent war.]
1. David is a macho guy; he wanted to go out with his troops. But, in this case, that would have been stupid. All Absalom’s army wanted was to kill David. So…he gave leadership to Abishai, Joab, and Ittai.
2. What do you think about David’s request for his “generals” to deal gently with Absalom?
3. Interesting that more people died because of the forest than the sword. What do you think that meant?
4. In quite possibly one of the most humorous scenes in the Bible, Absalom gets his afro stuck in a tree while his donkey runs off without him, leaving him dangling by his hair. Sweet.
5. Joab wants a piece of Absalom. The guy from David’s men knew not to mess with him, but Joab plunged three daggers into Absalom’s heart. Talk about being thorough!
6. Then they shucked the body into a hole and covered him with stones.
7. Ironically, the Bible then flashes back to tell you that, in Absalom’s life, he made a monument for himself out of stone. Oh well…now he has two?
Filed under: 2 samuel, abiathar, absalom, ahithophel, amnon, david, god, hushai, ittai, joab, zadok
Time to shake the cobwebs off…
[Stuff we’re skipping:
* OK, so Joab hires a woman to tell make up a lie about how she had two sons who were in similar circumstances to David’s sons (Amnon and Absalom), and she asked if the “killer” son could be brought back to Jerusalem with no retribution. David agreed. Then she told him that she asked why he would do that for her but not for his own son, Absalom. David saw through who hired her; and, when Joab was summoned, he told him that Absalom could return to Jerusalem; but he would just not see him.
* We are told that Absalom is super-handsome with super-long hair. He also goes two years without seeing his dad. So, he sends for Joab. Joab doesn’t come. So (talk about a cry for help) Absalom has his servants light Joab’s fields on fire. Joab came. Joab went to David. David agreed to see him. Father and son were reunited.]
Unfortunately, this story doesn’t end well…
1. Sounds like America. Absalom wins the hearts of the people by complaining about issues that David, the king, isn’t in control of. Hooray for politics. Is there something better that we can do besides complaining about politicians?
2. In faux humility, Absalom doesn’t let the people bow to him. Instead, he embraces them. Sounds like he’s trying to get elected, doesn’t it?
3. Absalom is a sneaky punk. He lies to his dad and ends up lining things up so that he can overtake his dad as king. Why do you think Absalom is doing this?
4. Absalom gets stronger by wooing one of David’s best advisors, Ahithophel, to the dark side.
5. Man, Absalom must have had a powerful following because David’s runs…fast.
6. Ittai, the captain of the Gittites sticks with David. Maybe it’s because he knows David is the right horse to bet on?
7. Notice how sad everyone was to see David fleeing. He had been a good king, and the people must have loved him.
8. David instructs Abiathar to take the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. He didn’t want to selfishly keep it for himself. You’ve got to respect that. Abiathar and Zadok will serve as priests (and his spies).
9. Interesting prayer from David, “Let Ahithophel give Absalom foolish advice.”
10. Then David sends Hushai to be his mole/fake advisor to Absalom. Sweet. This ought to be interesting.
1. Do you think Absalom meant what he said to Tamar about “not taking it to heart,” or do you think he was just trying to console her?
2. It’s interesting that it says that David was angry, but it doesn’t really say that he did anything about it. Why don’t you think he did anything?
3. Absalom’s silence would make me a little nervous if I were Amnon.
4. What’s the deal with David? Why didn’t he go to Absalom’s sheep-sheering party?
5. So…Absalom gets all the sons to come to his party, but his plans are to have Amnon killed when he’s drunk. Can you imagine how long Absalom’s been thinking about this revenge?
6. Is Jonadab supposed to be making David feel better? “Oh, king, only Amnon is dead.” Even more, wasn’t it Jonadab who helped Amnon rape Tamar? Now he’s helping David make decisions? Weird.
7. Is it only me who is a little confused about everyone being so sad at Amnon getting killed?
8. So, Absalom goes to live in Geshur, away from David. But it says that David’s heart goes out for him… It seems like he’s happy that Absalom did something about Amnon, doesn’t it? Then again, a son killing another son is pretty unacceptable.
Anyway, if you’re keeping track of the consequences of David and Bathsheba “getting together,” we’ve already hit two: 1) dead son 2) the sword has definitely made its way into David’s house.
Filed under: 2 samuel, absalom, amnon, david, god, joab, jonadab, rabbah, tamar
[Stuff we’re skipping:
* Joab beats Rabbah, the leader of the Ammonites in a battle, taking his crown and giving it to David. Joab’s army beat down all of the Ammonite armies.]
The story is one of the most disturbing in the Bible…
1. OK…so David had sons and daughters from different moms. So Absolom and Tamar were from the same mom, and Amnon was from a different mom. Amnon had the hots for Tamar, who was his half-sister. I personally have never had a half-sister who was beautiful; but I’d like to think that, if I did, I would be able to resist lusting after her.
2. So…Amnon has a cousin named Jonadab who is an idiot and actually tells Amnon how to rape his sister. Geez.
3. Hindsight is 20/20, but I would have thought this was a strange request from Amnon. If I was David, I think I might have snuffed that out. Maybe not. Then, when Amnon clears out the room so that it’s just the two of them, I would have thought that was a bit strange. I wonder what their relationship had been like before this. Maybe Tamar had some reasons to trust Amnon.
4. Tamar tried to reason with Amnon. She would be full of shame. He would be a fool. Maybe if they talked to David he could marry her? I don’t know if she really meant that. Maybe she just wanted to get near her dad, where it would be safe. I can’t imagine how helpless she felt at this time.
5. Amnon raped Tamar, and then he hated her. Hmm. You know, I’ve tried to figure this out. I don’t know what he was thinking. I guess the apple that he thought would be so great turned out to have worms in it. It’s just sad because it seems that he only wanted her because he couldn’t have her. Once he did, she was nothing to him. He kicked her out.
6. What do you think Tamar meant when she said that him kicking her out was worse than raping her?
Filed under: 1 samuel, 2 samuel, abigail, abinadab, abishai, abital, abner, absalom, achish, adonijah, ahinoam, amnon, asahel, baanah, chileab, david, eglah, god, haggith, hiram, ish-bosheth, ithream, joab, jonathan, maacah, malchi-shua, michal, palti, rechab, saul, shephatiah
[We’re going to do some serious skipping…so…
* David’s about to go to battle with the Philistines and King Achish, but the commanders tell him to go away. Achish had to send David home. So…we don’t know if he would have fought.
* When David returned to Ziklag, he saw that the Amalekites had raided the town and stolen all the women and children (including David’s wives, Ahinoam and Abigail). David asked God (through Abiathar, the priest) whether or not they could beat the Amalekites. God said they could; and, on the way to find them, David met an Egyptian servant of the Amalekites who promised to lead them to the bad guys. He did, and they beat them down and got everything back.
* The Philistines beat down the Israelites, killing Saul’s sons: Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malchi-shua. Saul was struck by an arrow, and he begged his armor bearer to go ahead and kill him. He wouldn’t, so Saul had to kill himself. Then the armor-bearer killed himself. So…Saul’s whole unit got killed that day. Then the Philistines cut of Saul’s head and fastened his body to a wall in Bethshan. The men of Jabesh-gilead rescues Saul and his sons’ bodies and gave them a proper burial.
* 2 Samuel starts with David hearing of Jonathan and Saul’s death from some random guy. This guy lies and says that he killed Saul (thinking that David would like that). Instead, David mourns and has the guy killed for daring to lift his hand agains the Lord’s anointed.
* David sings a lament that includes the famous words, “how the mighty have fallen.”
* David then goes and becomes king of the tribe of Judah. He also commends the men of Jabesh-gilead for honoring Saul.
* Abner, Saul’s commander, made one of Saul’s other sons, Ish-bosheth, the king of Israel. He was the king for two years.
* Abner and Ish-bosheth’s men fought Joab (David’s commander…brother to Abishai) and David’s men. David’s guys won. Joab had another brother, Asahel, who was a fast guy. He followed Abner’s chariot on foot, and Abner ended up stabbing Asahel through with the butt end of his spear. Joab and Abishai hunted down Abner, but they ended up calling it off after Abner makes a speech about not killing fellow Israelites.
* Ish-bosheth’s army got weaker and weaker, and David’s army got stronger and stronger. We learn that David had sons through his many wives. Turns out David has a couple more than two wives. Here’s the breakdown: son #1 Amnon (mom is Ahinoam); son #2 Chileab (mom is Abigail); son #3 Absalom (mom is Maacah?); son #4 Adonijah (mom is Haggith?); son #5 Shephatiah (mom is Abital?); and son #6 Ithream (mom is Eglah?). Wow…six sons from six mamas!
* So…Ish-bosheth accuses Abner of sleeping with one of his father’s concubines (big insult). Abner says the accusation is insulting and tells him that he’s going to go help David become king from now on! Abner sends a message to David, and David says that the only way he can join the good side is by bringing him Michal (Saul’s daughter). Ish-bosheth ends up allowing this, and poor Palti (her husband) cries the whole way as Michal leaves for David. Abner tells him to go home, so he does.
* Abner rallies all the leaders of Israel to David’s side. Joab catches wind of Abner helping David and refuses to trust Abner. Then Joab calls Abner for a “private meeting” and murders him. When David finds out about this, he places a curse on the house of Joab. David wins over the people by the way that he mourns for Abner. They realize that he didn’t assassinate him– Joab did.
* We are informed that Jonathan had a son named Mephibosheth (who was crippled in the feet). He’ll come into play later.
* Two of Ish-bosheth’s captains, Rechab and Baanah, ended up murdering him. They brought his head to David, thinking he would be happy. Instead, David kills the two men because he considered Ish-bosheth “innocent.” David buried Ish-bosheth’s head with Abner’s body.
Wow…sounds like a soap opera.]
1. David finally becomes kind. Don’t you think the people would be happier to follow him?
2. The Jebusites (who were living in Jerusalem) talked smack to David because they didn’t think his army could get in the city. They went in though the sewers, and cleaned house. Then Israel became known as “the city of David.” It still is. The promised land is looking like it’s finally taking shape.
3. Hiram of Tyre sent lumber to build David’s home. Sweet. It says that David knew that he was blessed because of God.
So…we obviously have some unresolved issues…
1. What’s going to happen to Joab and Abishai?
2. What’s going to happen to Jonathan’s crippled son, the heir to Saul’s throne?
3. Are all the people going to buy in to David’s leadership?
Stay tuned…
ripple effect: vacaville 